Mystical Cheese: Grand Theft Style
by Truce
Summary: Mystical Cheese is on the hunt. After finding a city to call his own, the lovely piece of cheese will find out what true courage and true horror really is. The cheese is nearby ..the cheese is coming ..the cheese is here.
1. Mystical Cheese

Mystical Cheese: Grand Theft Auto style  
  
The day had begun as any other day, it was cloudy outside and things were rather boring. The police were gathering up the last few bank robbers who laid in the street, body pieces here, and body pieces there. One police man looked over and noticed a small piece of finely cut cheese staring at him, questioning. Trying to ignore the intense piece of cheese, the police man continued his work.   
  
A few minutes passed as the bodies were being collected, and the cheese just slunked around. Having found a weapon of sorts, he looked up once again at the police man and then made his way over to the man. Grinning a cheesely grin, he hit the officer right in the knees with the nicely formed club. Shrieking the man looked right at the pretty piece of cheese and smiled. "Well, even though that hurt tremendously my perfect piece of cheese. Everything is going to be fine. You see, you are such a pretty piece of cheese, I am going to take you home in my police car. It does not matter that I am in pain, no no, quite the contary, I shall name you Barney. Now, let us go!" And so, Barney the cheese and Mister Police man went over to get into the shiny police car.   
  
After stopping for some ever hot and soothing coffee, and some perfect glazed and holed doughnuts, Barney the cheese and the officer began to cruise around the city. Never did the police person know that Barney was pondering in his mind. Never did he know that Barney was fixing to wreck havoc. And then it happened, oh yes, did it ever happen. Barney leaped onto the police officer, knocking him useless. Barney grinned again and stopped the car, pushing the silly man out. And as a nice gesture, the cheese took the hat off of the man and put it on himself, for it looked nice on a piece of cheese, very nice and sexy.   
  
Driving along one of the main roads, Barney noticed a group of squirrels running merrily along in a park, eating some dropped popcorn. He brought the police vehicle to a sudden halt and lept out of the car in a rage. Rabidly, Barney chased each squirrel until he brought it under his control. Then the sweet cheese began to gnaw on each, taking in their flesh, and enjoying every bite of their delicate fur.   
  
Barney the cheese was happy, happy and innocent. For he was a piece of cheese, a piece of wonderful pretty cheese. The day was going to be wondeful, simply wondeful. 


	2. Chapter 1: Cheese in a bind

Chapter 1: Mystical Cheese in a bind  
  
Barney had enjoyed his meal, oh he enjoyed it very well. But the meal had actually caused him a bit of mild cheese indigestion. So Barney got back into his ever so nice police car and decided to try and find a drug store to ease his pain. After a few minutes of driving around in a daze, Barney the cheese parked his car very carefully and entered the drug store of wonders.   
  
Inside the owner of the store looked down upon the cheese and smiled. "Well now, what do we have here? You look like you don't feel that well my boy! What can I get you friend?" The cheese remarked, "blublublublblublub..." because pieces of cheese cannot talk, they can only grin. That just made the drug store person laugh, and well, the laugh made Barney very mad, very mad indeed. So, he took off his police cap and lept up onto the counter, staring intently at the man in the white apron. Then Barney the magical cheese began to beat the drug store owner with the police hat. "Well hey there son, that does not feel that great! I must give you something to calm your small self down. Here now, there we go, some morphine." This made Barney quite swimmy, but it also angered him some more. Barney tried his best to keep beating the drug store man with his newly acquired police hat, but it was not working! So Barney cried a little bit and left the drug store ...he would get revenge. After the cheese got his feeling back that is.   
  
Barney laid in his police car, feeling all happy for himself. He laid there having dreams of other pieces of cheese in leopard underwear. He dreamt of his mother, and his father, whom had cultured him from the beginning. As all of these thoughts and lucid dreams continued throughout his mind, the cheese suddenly thought one thing. And that was the revenge that he would smite upon the damned drug store man.   
  
The morphine WOULD would begin to fade away, the cheese grinned. 


	3. Chapter 2: Cheese Revenge Part 1

Chapter 2: Cheese Revenge Part 1  
  
The cheese dreamt that he was a flying horse, flying through the clouds with armies of squirrels. He dreamt of the barbeques in the sky, and of meat that flew out in front of him. Barney was enjoying his induced dreams when there suddenly came a knock, a knock on one of his clouds? No, no ..this was from somewhere else. This was coming from somewhere closer. Barney the gorgeous cheese awoke. His head hurt like hell, but he was awake, and staring straight at a woman that was knocking on his door. HIS DOOR. DAMN. Barney's eyes narrowed and he rolled down the window. "Help, please sir officer help me, that man ran running down the street, just took my baby! What can I do? Nothing, because he took my baby, and for that, I cannot do anything, but you must sir! Yes you must. You are the police man, and I am not! Help!" Barney became aggravated, not only at this woman yelling, but for her touching his car.   
  
Barney left the woman standing where she was. He raced his car through the grass, shredding the pretty park flowers and the delicately cut grass. But he did not care, for he was a piece of cheese. A piece of pissed off cheese. Barney put his police hat back on to look very sexy again, for he liked to look sexy. Grinning, he caught an eye on the man that was running down the sidewalk with a baby carriage.   
  
"BLUBLUBBLUBLUBBLUBLUBBLUBLUBBLUBLUB!!" Barney screamed and put his ..piece of cheese on the gas pedal. Gaining speed, he ran smack over that moron with the baby carriage. But Barney accidently ran over the baby to. But that was not Barney's concern, for Barney was just a piece of cheese that was driving a police car.  
  
Back with the woman, Barney apologized. "Blub..blubblub.." But the woman begain screaming at him, and this was something that Barney the lovely cheese could not tolerate. "How could you run over my child, the child that is mine! You ran over her because you are not a police man are you? You are just a man trying to be a officer, but you are not, no you are not!" Barney yawned. "Don't yawn at me young man, explain yourself, because you must say what you did, therefore explaining yourself..!!" Barney grinned again and starte his pretty car. He then ran over the lady to make her be quiet and drove off. Barney the cheese began to drive once more to the drug store. He could not be worried with anything else.   
  
Barney was going for his revenge. He would beat this man. 


	4. Chapter 3: Cheese Revenge Part 2

Chapter 3: Cheese Revenge Part 2  
  
The handsome cheese waited in front of the peaceful drug store. Inside, a man behind a counter waited on customers. Inside, a man behind a counter took money, and gave out some sweet drugs. This made Barney smile once more. And he cheesely picked up his club and walked in, wearing his sexy police cap. The piece of cheese felt good, real good.  
  
"Well well, if it isn't my little friend back again. Say, are you still in pain little fellow? I can make you feel really really good once again." Barney did not want to feel better, Barney wanted revenge. With all his cheese might he smacked the drug store owner with the club of wonders again and again. This alone was not making the store manager at all happy, and he managed to call the police, the police of Liberty City.  
  
Barney looked around, half smacking on the idiot of an owner, and half pondering to himself what the true meaning of his existance was about. Slowly, he began to understand. It was because his heart was shrinking. Shrinking into tiny bits of hatred, of greed, of LUST. So furiously, Barney began to not only beat the man with his club of glory, but he started whacking on him again with his mighty police hat. This at once conquered the man that dared to inject him with drugs, and the man that would DARE to call other policeman on him. For this cheese was the police, this cheese was everything.   
  
When Barney finally slunk out of the drug strore on a job well done, he noticed something peculiar. This cheese had a woman awaiting him at his car. She walked up to him seductively. "Hey there big boy, I saw what you just did in there, and well franky ...it rather turned me on. My name is Divine sweety, so What do you say you and me go back and enjoy some private time together? I am the best there is, you know. And for you, it won't cost much. Just you, and well...a bit of money. And I will give you the time of your life." Barney's cheesy eyes opened wide. "BLUBBLUBBLUB!!!" And he quickly ran back into the drug store, over the body of the manager, and picked up some fallen money. Tonight was going to be good, he had his current revenge, and now he had some hot loving to do.   
  
What a hot piece of cheese he was. So hot. And with that, he hopped back into the car with his woman and rode off to the nearest hotel. Barney the cheese was the man ..cheese. 


	5. Chapter 4: Divine is Divine

Chapter 4: Divine is Divine  
  
Within the hotal room, Barney the lover cheese smoked a cigerette. He felt better than ever and wondered to himself, why didn't I ever do this before? He would have said it aloud, but everyone knows that cheese cannot speak. But cheese makes good lovers. He was the best by far, and his woman friend Divine was not that bad either. He grinned over at her, and then pushed her out of the bed. She was in his way. Blast her..  
  
Pieces of cheese get mighty independant, and yes Barney was one of the worst. Why, with him being independant and with his heart shrinking, he just might be one of the meanest pieces of cheese ever to exist. But Barney did not believe so, no he did not.  
  
Once again back in his police car, Barney took a deep breath. Boy that Divine was one incredible lover, but he did not have time for her. She would just be in his way. But, perhaps they would meet again. Just perhaps. Being lost in his own cheese like thoughts, Barney was jerked completely alert by a tremendous jolt. He had hit something huge in the road, and did not even notice that it had happened. Cursing inside his head, he hopped out of his car, losing all thought of the previous night. When he looked, he noticed a very odd sight to behold. Laying there, was a panda, a CUTE CUTE panda! Barney would have felt bad for it, but he just couldn't. But he noticed that the panda was not hurt that bad. In fact, he thought of something grand indeed! He forgot about the pretty police car and hopped up unto the uninjured panda. "BLUBBLUBBLUB!" He cried, trying to say that he was going to calle the panda, Panda, and away they went! Barney the piece of cheese had found a new means of transportation. One that was fast and wonderfully fuzzy and cute all in one.   
  
Barney thought that he would go back to Divine his ex-lover and make her jealous of Panda. He had a very good idea. Little did he know what was going to happen though. Little did he know.. 


	6. Chapter 5: Look what I have!

Chapter 5: Look what I have!  
  
Barney the cheese triumphantly rode Panda the panda back to the hotel and up the hotel stairs, and into the hotel room. He was a bit startled when he saw that Divine was still fast asleep in the floor. She had rolled over and had a pillow wrapped around her arms. For a brief moment, Barney had a nice sense of sweetness overcome him. But that did not last long, no no it didn't! Barney poked Divine and woke her up. She groggily opened her pretttty eyes and saw a BIG panda bear right in front of her. This made her quite startled and she dove immediately at the panda. Divine and Panda rolled around in the floor, spitting at each other and mumbling obscene things at each other. Divine pulled out a tuff of Panda's hair but then realized that what she was doing was foolish. They then stopped and hugged right on the very spot. Barney the cheese was angry. His plan for jealousy and rage was foiled. Getting Panda by the reigns, Barney looked back at Divine in all her glory. "BLUB!" He growled, but Divine was already running past him and out the door. "Sorry sweetheart, I have somewhere that I must be! I will hopefully see you later." And she took off with a 'whish'!  
  
As Barney and Panda made their way down the hotel steps, an odd noise stopped them in their tracks. The piece of cheese looked around for anything odd, afterall the police were supposed to be after him. Suddenly, something flew down from the ceiling and landed right in front of the duo. "BLAH! ..blah, I am Vanrushal, a vampire! I saw that lady friend of yours fly down the stairs a moment ago and I must say that ...blah, she is very hot! VERY HOT. Blah..!" Barney was angered at this and almost made a violent move at the vampire, but he dodged quickly. Panda shrieked at the sight and fell down a flight of stairs. Vanrushal laughed at what was happening and turned to Barney. "You are very funny! ...blah!! But I must be on my way to, for it is just time for me to go! It is, yes. BLAH! haha!!" Barney knew that from this, he would one day have his revenge on this vampire man to. He would go and hire the proper men to do his deeds, and then take all of the credit for himself. He grinned and laughed a cheese laugh. Barney went down the stairs and looked at Panda. She was ok, and Barney gave a small grin at her to. She was good to have around, and the piece of cheese was glad that he ran over her.   
  
Barney and Panda rode back out onto the streets, and were just casually riding around when the manly cheese noticed a ramp. Oh but this was not just any ramp, it was a ramp of dreams! He urged Panda on and got her going at full running speed, right up the ramp and into the sky. This was quite fun Barney thought to himself, but Panda thought the opposite. She did a few flips and flew right onto operating train tracks...with a train coming right at her and Barney.   
  
She quickly began to run ...run with all her might... 


	7. Chapter 6: Trains of Misery

Chapter 6: Trains of misery  
  
Panda kept running and kept running she did, but to no avail she could not outrun the train. It kept gaining and gaining, but there was nothing that she or Barney could do! Barney just grinned, but Panda was ever so scared. She screamed. Poor Panda.   
  
Then out of the sky came a glorius sound, it was the sound of Divine! She came swooping out of the sky and landed right beside Barney the cheese and his panda, Panda. "Well hello there my gorgeous hunk of man and his ever gleeful panda! It seems to me that you are in somewhat of a bind here, is there anything I can do for you?" "BlubBlublbubblblbl!!" Barney the grinning cheese said. And Panda just chimed in with a "munching on a bamboo noise.." Divine just smiled a pretty smile and got out her wonderful magical super hero wand. She exclaimed "Ziiiiiiiiiiiing!" and away everyone went they certainly did! Everyone flew away just as the train was about to cut them and maul them into tiny tiny pieces.   
  
On the ground, Divine hugged Barney even so tenderly and gave him a nice kiss, no no, rather a hot kiss. Yes. Very hot kiss. Barney would have done more, but afterall this was public. Cheeses don't do things like that in public. After kissing Barney for about ten minutes, Divine flew off in all her glory, to go and do justice for Liberty City. Barney did not have feelings for Divine at all, it was merely just sexual, but he watched her bottom all the way into the skyline.  
  
Barney decided that he was going to go for a bite to eat. It would be good to go and see some of his fellow cheeses at the store about to succumb to death by mouth. This cheese laughed. Mounting Panda, they rode around the city, looking for somewhere to stop, when they happened to come back upon Vanrushal himself. "Greetings sir, I did not think that I would ..blah..see you so soon!" Barney frowned. He was not ready for his revenge yet. Oh no, far from it. So Barney just shot him a cheese bird and turned Panda around. "That might not be the best of ideas,... blah, for my connections with the mafia are every firm. I shall ..blah, vanquish you with one finger, one vampire type finger!" Barney the cheese shrugged. He was not worried, no, this cheese did not worry. Vanrushal turned into a bat and flew away ...right into a wall.  
  
"Dammit... blah!"  
  
Barney rolled his cheese type eyes and rode away. But the cheese and bear pair were being trailed. Closely. 


	8. Chapter 7: Icecream men are nice

Chapter 7: Icecream men are nice  
  
Barney the cheese was feeling drafty. It had started to rain ever so lightly and it was making Barney very unhappy. And not to think about Panda, oh poor Panda was dripping wet and not happy at all! No she wasn't which was very sad. But her saddness was fixing to turn happy, because the one that trailed them came down the road played gleeful music. Panda's eyes went wide as she saw that it was none other than the magical icecream man, coming to grant her every wish true! Panda rejoiced at this and began to run towards the icecream truck. The man inside was in fear for his life though, and he tried to turn the truck around before the mad panda stole his goodies.   
  
Panda ran and ran, finally managing to corner the poor man in an alley. She growled at him, trying her best to intimidate. This left the piece of cheese grinning ever so nicely, for this was the kind of thing that cheeses liked. Panda rummaged through the assortments of lovely pink and white icecreams, loving each wonderful taste. She was in panda heaven, even though she was dripping wet and chilled to the bone. That was all right though, this was icecream, and free icecream nonetheless.  
  
Rather medium sized pieces of cheese tend to get very bored after sitting around doing nothing for awhile, and well, Barney was no exception. He looked at Panda with his cheese eyes and became a bit annoyed. Looking around elsewhere, he saw the icecream man, huddled in a corner, fearing for his life. He had lost all purpose and meaning for his soul. The icecream man had failed to protect his possesions, and therefore had failed his lifes goal. Barney took advantage of this completely. He slunk over to a pipe that lay in the middle of the alleyway and grasped it all cheese like. Cautiously, he made his way back over to the shivering man and began to look him over. After Barney finished, he began to ever so carefully whack on the icecream man, enjoying his time while Panda stuffed herself silly. Barney finished hitting the man to his joy, and proceeded to advance his way over to the fainted Panda. He sighed, sighed very hard and nudged the chilled panda. She had fallen over from brain freeze! Silly panda!   
  
Barney the wet piece of cheese awaited his faithful panda. He waited in the cold alleyway, wanting his mode of transportation awake. He yearned for the freedom of her furriness, and the way she ran! Poor Panda, poor poor Panda. Would she ever awaken again? WOULD SHE?! 


	9. Chapter 8: Apples Galore

Chapter 8: Apples galore  
  
Barney carefully waited beside his only friend in the world, Panda the panda. She was slowly coming to her senses but the icecream was proving to much for her. Barney sighed very slightly and turned around to notice something odd. It was a mob of lovely apples coming around the corner of the alleyway. Barney gasped a cheese gasp and grabbed his iron pipe once again. "blublbublub..." Barney knew that he was in a wee amount of trouble. Suddenly Divine, the savior swooped in and yelled at Barney. "Run my dearest, oh please do run! I shall take care of your ever so cute fainted Panda, now go sweetheart!" Divine took off with a superb whish and Barney began to run as fast as he possibly could. Approaching a hill that split two main roads apart, the cheese took a leap of faith and landed into a truck going the opposite way. The driver noticed this at once and looked back at the cheese in the truck. "Well HAW, what you be doin' here man? I was jes' comin' back fer mah lost cargo. Ya know, ya might have seen it. It's was a load of dem' there apples. I don't 'pose ya seen 'em?" This annoyed Barney tremendously. The cheese was about to go and beat the driver senseless, but thought secondly, for Barney was not willing to go over the side of a hill in a truck. Barney could not drive these types of trucks.   
  
"Well feller, looks like yous gonna be with me tryin' to find man apples! Mah name is Levi! What be yours?" Barney sat there silently, trying to pretend that he was looking out of the window. "Alrighty, HAW...guess ya don't care." They drove in silence for a few minutes. Barney the cheese was becoming increasing preturbed at the sound of the buck-toothed man whistling a horrible tune. He glanced over at this 'Levi' person and noticed his clothing. He wore everything in complete denim wear. From his odd looking hat, down to his socks and shoes, the truck driver had denim. Oh boy did he have denim. Barney the handsome cheese noticed one thing that was ever so very odd, odder than the fact this man wore complete denim. This man had a DENIM TOUNGE. Dear goodness, he thought to himself. Getting away from him and these apples are going to be harder than I orignally thought. The driver and the cheese drove very fast along the road, very fast indeed. They drove to the sounds of zany music. Levi's eyes glared into the streetlights, his denim pupils reflecting ever so country like it was astounding.  
  
Back in the alleyway, Panda lay sprawled out among a bed of icecream boxes. She looked so very nice amid her sleeping casket of melted cream. Most of the evil type apples had run after Barney the piece of cheese, but one galiant apple stayed behind. He was overtaken by her sleeping prettiness. And he began to sing her a song. He sang to her "My First, My Last, My Everything", and "Can't Get Enough of Your Love Babe". This enchanted the sleeping panda and she smiled in her sleep. The apple made his way over to her like a knight in shining apple peels and gave her a sweet kiss right upon her very nose. Panda's eyes fluttered open and she began to rise off of the ground. Lights flashed around her paws and they suddenly began to take form, the form of a human. Panda the panda was turning human!! Well dear, if that wasn't something. After her transformation, she stared at the apple prince and began to talk. "Hello there my prince, you have changed me back. For you see, I was never a panda, oh no! I am a pretttttty girl, and my real name is Angel!" This scared the apple prince very much, and he ran away like the coward he was. It was good that Divine had taken off, and not protected Panda, for now she felt free ...and dangerous!  
  
The other apples were still trying to gain on Barney and Levi. Although the truck was fast, the apples were very fast themselves. They started to sing a mob song, a very nice mob song mind you, and continued their way towards Barney the cheese. But they were evil apple mobsters you see, for every other car they met, met it's demise. Evil apples indeed. 


	10. Chapter 9: People can die nicely

Chapter 9: People can die nicely  
  
After moments of driving to zany music, Barney looked out the window to notice that the mob of juicy apples were following closely behind. So to rectify the matter, the Cheese turned up the music even louder to reveal a zanier type beat. This caused some of the apples to explode fortunately, but it was also causing Levi some problems of his own. Although he was quite used to zany type things, and some happy insanity, this was just a bit much for the denim-clad macho man. Slowly his denim pupil eyes rolled to the back of his head, and he began to spasm to the beat of the ever so zany music that played within the truck, blaring out into all of Liberty City.   
  
Driving alongside the banks of the shore, Levi could barely drive the truck, but Barney just grinned like good old Barney could do and kept staring intently at the man. Levi could stand no more. His tongue rolled to the back of his throat, mind you, his denim tongue and he began to choke very denim like. He did! Well, considering that he was choking to death meant that he had no control over the vechicle at all, so it began to tumble down the bank right towards the water itself. Barney would have trembled if he could, for cheeses hate water you see. But suddenly who would appear, but Divine herself! She whooshed down and picked the happy cheese right out of the falling truck. Both of the lovers looked down at the truck as it splashed into the water, throwing Levi himself into the cold depths.   
  
Unluckily for him, a hungry shark was swimming by and noticed that the denim man looked might tasty, mighty tasty indeed. So he plucked the man out of the water and right into his mouth, but the jellyfish mafia was right behind the criminal shark. Hundreds of small jellies clung right onto the shark, forcing him to let go. They stabbed him with their small little jellyfish knives and mocked him at the same time. Levi flew out of the sharks mouth and landed back into the water, where the swift team of jellyfish mafia quickly sucked onto his skin, leaving nothing behind ....but shards of torn denim.   
  
Divine was very happy to see Barney that they both forgot about the incident that had unfolded before them and made love on the grass. Hot love, soothing love, super-hero type Divine love. This made Barney forget about everything, forget about Panda, his mission for his next revenge, and that tomorrow was in fact, Christmas Day. 


	11. Chapter 10: Angels we have heard on high

Chapter 10: Angels we have heard on high  
  
Panda the panda, turned human, named Angel, looked around and stood up on her two walking legs. She was quite cold now considering that she had no fur, well actually she didn't have anything on except a couple of icecream buckets. But that is beside the point for now, because it was Christmas morning. Chilly, exciting Christmas morning! All around the city, people bustled with joy and laughter, fights and murder. It was the happiest day in Liberty City, and everyone was happy for living there. But Angel was not happy. She was very mad indeed. Angel had been left in the cold without her friend Barney the piece of cheese. Here it was, Christmas day and she was wearing icecream buckets for clothes, and here she was, a human! What nerve!  
  
As Angel wandered around the bustling city, ever strange looks filled in around her. She was becoming quite angered at this, and began to shout obscene words at the passerbys. Her curiousity got the better of her and she began to climb a pretty building, decorated with a pretty tree. She thought that it was ever so pretty, and for some reason, this made her and her icecream buckets happier, warmer, safer. This made Angel fell like singing! And sing she did, oh boy did she sing!   
Sneakily, an evil cookie peeked out from around a sign on top of this building. The evil cookie was not ready for true part in this chapter, but this evil cookie was named Kupop, and Kupop would be ready to do..something, soon! The evil kitten-shaped cookie snickered and poked back behind the flashing sign.   
  
Then, quietly at first, and then rising with gleeful noise, Angel began to merrily sing a rendition of "Angels We Have Heard on High". People on the streets and sidewalks below looked up with a new gleam in their eyes. Slowly and sweetly, the began to sing along with the woman standing on top of the building wearing icecream buckets. Barney and Divine stopped their playing on the park lawn. Both of them looked at each other and then realized that they were damn cold, horribly damn cold. Smiling at their silliness and frostbite, they each heard an Angel singing from within the city. Barney then caught a wee glimpse of a being flying within the air. It was none other than Vanrushal himself. He spotted the pair of love birds on the ground, stopping for a brief moment and waved. "Hey dingbats! I just heard a most heavenily voice coming from the inner streets. It sounded so pretty and angelic, that I, the evil ..BLAH.. vampire, am going to go and have me some hot Christmas sex with this woman. ...Blah Blah Blah!!" He flew off in a horny rage, somewhat noting to himself a couple of carjackings going on down below his flying body.   
  
Barney and Divine looked at each other once more. They almost read each others thoughts. Divine picked up her gorgeous hunk of cheese and began to fly towards the inner city itself. "Come sweetheart, we must stop this horny bastard from having sex with this singing beauty! Besides, I can somewhat recognize that voice ...it almost sounds as if she is chewing on some bamboo.." With that, the couple took off in a sexual type flash. Christmas day was just beginning. 


	12. Chapter 11: A robot!

Chapter 11: A robot!  
  
Down below in the building on which Angel was singing her little heart out, a very unique robot was dancing his way out the swinging doors. He was a dashing robot, one that you would expect to be sweet and sincere. Instead, all this robot cared about was his grooviness. Yes he did. The jivey robot named Myst was suave and slick. Myst had just finished a few cups of awesome cocoa and was ready to go and please some of the ladyfolk walking about on the streets themselves. But what to his wandering eyes did he see, but a icecream clad Angel, singing and free...  
  
"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey..." He smirked gracefully to himself and peered up upon the chilled human. Rubbing his metalic hands together, he pondered what he could do. Suddenly, as if out of nowhere a car came flying at the singing crowd, knocking everyone down, down into the ABYSS. This only knocked a small dent into the robot, but he was cool, he was calm...Myst was happening.   
  
Vanrushal hurried to the scene of the accident, for he did not want to lose his love. Well, he did not want to lose his desire rather. For this was quite a horny vampire. Landing beside the robot of wonders, he glanced briefly at him and thought to himself ..what a MAN! But that was beside the point, because robots and vampires just do not mix. Not at all.. Besides, Angel was still singing spite the fact there was a raging fire below, and a raging fire within Vanrushal's ...well we all know where that fire was. Myst looked over at Vanrushal though, and noticed something odd about him. "You! Yeah you there, mister gothic boy...You can't have your eyes on her, she is MINE. I am going to take her back to my pad and we are going to groooooove all night. Yeah baby, so HANDS OFF JERK." The outraged vampire leaped onto Myst and began to fight him frantically, for vampires cannot bite robots, they are metal. Hopefully everyone knows that. But oh yes, Vanrushal fought his heart out, because he was in lust. Sweet lust. Gears and leather flashed throughout the street and throughout the smoldering remains of the car fire. Angel's voice added to the dramatic moment, bringing a sense of peace to the raging hell down below her now human feet.   
  
The mob of apples that were still alive hopped on the scene, deciding to join in for a wonderful chorus addition to Angel's song. The once frightened crowd calmed down and also joined back in while both vampire and robot fought for their own piece of Angel.   
  
And back a few miles away still, Divine held her cheese within her superhero type hands and cuddled him gently against her bosom. They continued to fly ... 


	13. Chapter 12: Kitten Cookies Part 1

Chapter 12: Kitten Cookies Part 1  
  
Angel continued to sing her gleeful heart out while she eyed above her two approaching objects in the Christmas skyline of Liberty City. She smiled a bit but then realized that this was the cheese and superhero hooker that had abandoned her. DAMN THEM. DAMN THEM TO HELL. She quit singing, and proceeded to jump off of the building, away from the pretty tree, and away from her joyous spirit.   
  
She fell, fell endlessly, down towards the pavement, down towards what she felt would be her end. But no! Heavens no! She landed right on top of the fighting duo of vampireness and steel. By falling a ever graceful, yet terrifying fall broke up the duel for the potential mate. The one that was now lying on top of both of them! Oh my! Myst and Vanrushal sat up straight. No silly, not that way, they really did sit up after the initial shock. Eyeing Angel, they smiled at each other and tried to speak, almost at a complete loss for words. "Heeeyy..." Myst began. But before he could say anything else, Vanrushal slapped him all vampire like. "How dare you say hey to her you...blah!! Piece of reckage!" Myst was angered, groovily angered. "ME? What about you, you..PERSON!" Angel looked at both of them and laughed. Laughed so hard that she made both Myst and Vanrushal both start to laugh to! They all laughed happily while sitting on the cold pavement, in the cold city of Liberty City itself.   
  
Divine and Barney the wonderful cheese landed beside the laughing trio wondering just what in the hell was going on. They looked at each other with a glint of love, half amused and half mystified. "I say love, it looks like we are not needed here. Everything seems fine! Fine and dandy indeed sweetie!" Divine smiled a very big smile. She looked over at Barney who was quite annoyed at all this gleefulness, and noticed that the piece of cheese was fixing to have a beating session on Myst and Vanrushal. Seeing this, she swept her hunk of cheese up in her arms and flew off. Looking down, Divine noted a small cookie advancing towards Angel, Myst and Vanrushal. This small cookie was kitten shaped. This small cookie was known as Kupop. This small cookie was ready for a chapter of his own!   
  
"Mew..." 


	14. Chapter 13: Kitten Cookies: Part 2

Kitten Cookies Part 2  
  
Kupop couldn't move well, but he could mew like there was no tomorrow. Sitting in an alley, away from the ever so lovely glee, he mewed and mewed. Even as the mewing continued, no one was aware of him, for Kupop was the kitten cookie from the land of super spies! Oh yes. He could do his loudest mew and still go undected. It was quite a spectacular sight if you ever saw that sight that is.  
  
Kupop wobbled around and spied on the people that were not taking notice of him. He smiled a kittenish smile, although it made a piece of his icing mouth fall off.. he was TOUGH. TOUGH AS COOKIES. TEEHEE. Kupop got ahold of himself and glared!  
  
If he wasn't such a cookie, he would have mewed that there was one hot woman in front of his eyes. But, he could never tell that to her, oh no, which was very sad! But, he could mew! Kupop bounced very delicately over to the scene and belted. But wait! His lovely husky woman had taken off already! Kupop's kitten cookie heart sank. He stood there and watched as she carried a damned piece of cheese off.   
  
Suddenly, Kupop was actually dectected, whoops! He spat at the robot and vampire in front of him and lept at them as best as a cookie could! Vanrushal quickly bit off his legs and the kitten cookie mewed in desperate pain. Fractically, he hopped away on his little crumbly ears and quietly announced a revenge on the stupid vampire.  
  
Revenge is as sweet as a cookie dipped in milk. Wait, milk?! Kupop cried, he wanted milk. Kitten's need milk. What a sad day. 


End file.
